When you are trying to win somebody over to your way of thinking, it's good to get into rapport. This is whether you are selling something, trying to get an attractive person to give you their phone number, or even convincing your buddy to see that slasher flick instead of that goofy romance.
Rapport is known about by a lot of people, but many miss the mark. Some people try to create rapport through basic conversation. Unless the conversation has something specific to do with the purpose of your interaction, it's not going to work.
In order for any kind of rapport to work, you've got to create a sense of connection. That feeling somebody notices inside when they feel they totally and completely trust somebody. This is usually felt by most people when they are with a family member or an old friend. But you can create it with almost anybody.
The secret is mirroring and matching. Since the feeling comes from the unconscious, it helps to create it through behavior that is usually unconscious. Most people don't consciously think how they sit, talk, lean against a wall, or even move their hands around while they speak.
Mirroring and matching is when you match your body language to the person you are creating rapport with. It's actually pretty simple. If they cross your legs, you cross your legs. If they are leaning back in their chair, then you lean back in your chair. If they speak slowly, then you speak slowly.
It may feel awkward at first, but pretty soon you'll get the hang of it. And then something amazing will happen. The person you are talking to will feel a deep connection. They will feel closer to you than they've felt to anybody in a long time.
When that happens, you can slowly start to introduce them to your way of thinking. If you are selling something, just start talking about your product in glowing terms. Explain how many people have used your product and are very happy with it. If you've created strong rapport, then the person you're speaking with will start to develop an unconscious desire to buy your product.
Of course, this can easily be abused. If you sell somebody something they don't really want, or convince somebody to do something they don't want to do, it will come back to haunt you. Just be careful, and everything will be OK.
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