Tuesday, July 24, 2012

How to Kick Your "Compare and Despair" Habit

In the age of Facebook and an online world where we have 24-7 access to everyone else's "highlight reel," it's really easy to compare ourselves to other people-and then judge ourselves about where we are based on what we see that they're doing.

Unfortunately, we more often compare ourselves not with those less fortunate (and feel grateful for what we have), but we're comparing ourselves with others we perceive as having or being more. The result? Envy, and somehow feeling "not enough."

It's human nature and I think it's something we've all dealt with before, including myself. The key is to not let it go so far that you let it take you out of the game completely. I've done some work around this in my own life, and I can share some helpful things that I have used and have helped me deal with this in my own life.

First, comparing yourself to others is a losing game. So, why not compare yourself to yourself instead? Take a look at all you've accomplished up to this point and focus on that instead of what you haven't accomplished or what others are doing. I'm sure you'll find you've achieved a lot in the last year alone. Realize there are lots of things you've done that you never thought you could actually acheive. What are you doing today that you weren't doing last year? How have you improved?

Second, take a look at other people's successes in a different light. Decide to embrace the success of others, feel happy for them and learn from them. (This is about flipping your envy and negative feelings on their head.)

Third, practice gratitude. Focus on what you do have, especially focusing on the strengths you do have because nobody has the strengths that you do. Appreciating what you have will cause you to attract more.

Fourth, focus on the journey instead of the end destination. Your path is your path, their path is their path. Our journey is ours alone, and it has to do with where WE want to go, not where anyone else is going. There's no use in looking at what others are doing because it's based on their goals, not yours.

Finally, redirect your attention. Stop the destructive thought in its path, get off the Internet, do something that lifts your mood, get out in nature. Wallowing further doesn't help anyone feel better.

Your to-do? Next time you find yourself in compare and despair mode, try one of these methods and notice how it lifts you out of that state. If you keep doing this consistently, you WILL break this nasty habit.


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Christine Gallagher is founder of ShesGotClients.com, a company dedicated to teaching entrepreneurs all over the world how to use authentic relationship marketing & online strategies to enroll more clients, & enjoy more income in their business. To get her free "Online Exposure Kit" as well as her e-zine on marketing and mindset, visit http://www.ShesGotClients.com.


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